my interesting holiday
I had the most interesting holiday during these past 3 weeks:
1st week- mostly busy with things like helping with school n settling into the holiday mood
2nd week- mostly enjoying my holiday - watching dramas and going out to different places with different ppl
3rd week- spent my morning at home and evening at church doing EE
To be honest - the most challenging week out of the three is the last. It's the hardest - most boring and most life draining week (not in my life but during those three weeks). But the BEST week out of the three. Why? because the things that i've learned during this one week - i would not want to trade it with anything ! even a year worth of paid holiday! NO no no no
I'm so glad that I have a God that is GREAT! the all knowing powerful mighty God! I am glad that He listens and never forgets about my request. I know that many of my prayers, questions and struggles have been answered during these past week, especially those in the area of evangelism.
All these times - even a few days during the training - i feel like a solider going to war without weapon - or even worse with weapon but without instructions on how to use it! I still remember of the silly things i've said in the past to the people whom i was evanglising to. I've still remember the feelings that i felt right after doing those "evangelising" sessions - feels more like a war/ counseling session (my knowledge, my understanding and my solution) - and God is rarely in the conversation - let alone the name Jesus.
I have to be honest - before i did this evangelism explosion thingy - i didn't (or have very vague idea) about know about why this person Jesus is so important.
YES i know! Jesus born - Jesus lived - Jesus died - Jesus rose again - Jesus went to heaven and will come back the second time, but so what?! I didn't know why He's so very important in MY gospel, my good news.
Sad eh?
not only that - before -i also have to admit that i've endlessly try to gain my salvation - through what i do/what i know/ what i say/ by "saving" other people.
I've always have this pressure in my mind and my heart forcing me to DO BETTER - to ACHIEVE - to SUCCEED in what i do "for the Lord". And if i ever fail - i remember it so well of what my "brain" and my "heart" said to "me" - I remember condemning myself. Hating myself. Trying to "kill" all that is within me and change to be someone else. I struggle so much to be good. I struggled so very much to achieve "perfection". But everytime i try, i fail - ALWAYS.
But this evangelism training that i did tells me otherwise - it evangelised to me personally. It made it clear to me about the facts that NOT MANY Christians knows about and talks about. It made God's grace clear to me.
For how good should i be for me to be called good? How can i be perfect if i have sins already and will still gain more later? How can i ever save myself? How can i ever work for my salvation?
This is just a little glimpse of what i've learned during the past week - there's still so much more that i've learned and i don't want to share in this impersonal -inhumane -communication -method -thingy. I want to share it to people personally. So that they may know and believe and feel the impact too!! hehehe
Pray that I will be given the wisdom to do so...
1st week- mostly busy with things like helping with school n settling into the holiday mood
2nd week- mostly enjoying my holiday - watching dramas and going out to different places with different ppl
3rd week- spent my morning at home and evening at church doing EE
To be honest - the most challenging week out of the three is the last. It's the hardest - most boring and most life draining week (not in my life but during those three weeks). But the BEST week out of the three. Why? because the things that i've learned during this one week - i would not want to trade it with anything ! even a year worth of paid holiday! NO no no no
I'm so glad that I have a God that is GREAT! the all knowing powerful mighty God! I am glad that He listens and never forgets about my request. I know that many of my prayers, questions and struggles have been answered during these past week, especially those in the area of evangelism.
All these times - even a few days during the training - i feel like a solider going to war without weapon - or even worse with weapon but without instructions on how to use it! I still remember of the silly things i've said in the past to the people whom i was evanglising to. I've still remember the feelings that i felt right after doing those "evangelising" sessions - feels more like a war/ counseling session (my knowledge, my understanding and my solution) - and God is rarely in the conversation - let alone the name Jesus.
I have to be honest - before i did this evangelism explosion thingy - i didn't (or have very vague idea) about know about why this person Jesus is so important.
YES i know! Jesus born - Jesus lived - Jesus died - Jesus rose again - Jesus went to heaven and will come back the second time, but so what?! I didn't know why He's so very important in MY gospel, my good news.
Sad eh?
not only that - before -i also have to admit that i've endlessly try to gain my salvation - through what i do/what i know/ what i say/ by "saving" other people.
I've always have this pressure in my mind and my heart forcing me to DO BETTER - to ACHIEVE - to SUCCEED in what i do "for the Lord". And if i ever fail - i remember it so well of what my "brain" and my "heart" said to "me" - I remember condemning myself. Hating myself. Trying to "kill" all that is within me and change to be someone else. I struggle so much to be good. I struggled so very much to achieve "perfection". But everytime i try, i fail - ALWAYS.
But this evangelism training that i did tells me otherwise - it evangelised to me personally. It made it clear to me about the facts that NOT MANY Christians knows about and talks about. It made God's grace clear to me.
For how good should i be for me to be called good? How can i be perfect if i have sins already and will still gain more later? How can i ever save myself? How can i ever work for my salvation?
This is just a little glimpse of what i've learned during the past week - there's still so much more that i've learned and i don't want to share in this impersonal -inhumane -communication -method -thingy. I want to share it to people personally. So that they may know and believe and feel the impact too!! hehehe
Pray that I will be given the wisdom to do so...
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