fake

Have anyone ever told you that you're fake?
That whatever it is that you've been doing is all fake?
That the love you have shown to people is fake?
That the hard work that you have done is fake?
That everything about you is fake?

Well, personally i have, quite a number of times too in the past. Truthfully, these statements given to me made me very self aware. Very much afraid of myself. I'm more self conscious in whatever things that I'm doing. I try to evaluate my heart every time i do things, making sure that I'm not fake, to the point that i don't even trust myself anymore because, even when i do things i kept on being reminded of how fake i am. And i could be possibly be lying to myself right now as i am evaluating myself.

Today, at Bible Study, we've learned about the three enemies that we have. They are myself, the world and satan. I think in my case, all these three elements are working together harmoniously.

Using my timid, self-aware, self-conscious personality, satan used the world to tell me lies about myself, and the people in the world agrees and supports what satan says.

I know that right now i'm blaming satan for all my flaws. But one thing i know for sure and will always be true is that God loves me.
He does not need me to do this and that for Him to love me
He loves me therefore i am
He knows i am sinful
He knows that i am full of flaws
He knows i am weak
He knows that i need Him
He loves me so much that He would give His one and only Son to die for me
And there is no one else i can depend on except Him

YES! It's true! I do lie to myself many times. I am a liar. I am fake. I do hide things from other people that i don't want them to see. I am a coward. I am a hypocrite. I am full of flaws. I am a sinner.

but - SO WHAT!

That's not news to me. That's CERTAINLY is not news to God. He knows this since the beginning of time but He choose to love us anyway.

The only thing I can do now is to depend on Him to work in me
To change me
To trust Him that He have me in His plans
To trust that He will make me perfect in due time
To trust Him in every single aspect of my life
To be truthful to Him of all my flaws

Because, why would i hide things that He already knows? That's just silly isn't it?

Only He knows things that are hidden deep within our hearts
Only He can show us those things
Only He have the authority to judge us
Only He can see the truth fully
He is the only one we can trust
He is the only one who knows the solution to our problems
He holds everything in His hands

So yeah... that's all that i want to share

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