Daily interest...#1

I'm trying to get back to the habit of sharing my life story to ppl now...

Lately i've realized that i have too little story to share with ppl - that are encouraging/useful/even interesting. So by writing this - hopefully, I get to learn how to regularly notice things that are interesting in my life and remembering them (by recording them here). I suppose it's not that i think that my life is boring, I enjoyed being me and doing the things that i do everyday. But I want to learn how to be more of an encourager to others... anyway... I'm not making any sense now..

So, today's interesting story is.. my ADRIANO ZUMBOO experience...

There were 4 of us who went to AZ.

It was good i suppose - loads of delicious things to eat and try out, and we ate lunch afterwards at Kazumi. It was a good day, i have to say. I wasted, i mean spent so much money at AZ and then God graciously blessed us with very2 cheap and fulfilling lunch (it was grilled eel with rice for 5.50- He must've known my internal dilemma). It was a good day.

Now when i say, "good day" I usually rate it on how much i had "fun" (meaning loads of laughter) that day. But, if i have to be honest today is not "fun" as i used to mean fun, but it was a good, relaxing, relationship bonding and slow day.

Eventho there wasn't that many laughter today, but i can still praise God with all my heart for everything that He had allowed me to learn today, and to be able to be given the honour to serve the people that He had allowed me to serve. I think that is more precious than anything.

And during pemuda, that too - to me - was fun! I was able to serve with ppl whom i rarely served with and have fun while i serve.

I'm really2 grateful to God for allowing me to enjoy my life like this. Many may not be able to see the joy and peacefulness in living faithfully and simply in the daily routines of life. It almost seems like - if our life is not as dramatic or exaggerated as movies nowadays, it is not "genuine" or "true living", i don't know what word i can use to describe it. But it almost seems like we are NOT living as fully humans and fulfilling our duty as humans if our life is NOT full of laughter and fun and happiness and etc etc.

I know that i'm being childish in thinking that way - but that is the temptation that i often tempted to think when i do think.

The world and the "voices" outside of me keeps on banging and forcing my head to pursue after happiness - after laughter, close friendships that can benefit and rid us of our boredom, etc.

But i know, that the voices inside me keeps on telling me NOT to believe in that. And logically i know that life can never be filled with laughter - even more - i think the more laughter and happiness that i experienced, the less i really have in me. The moments in my life that i treasured the most are those which I experienced when i was down and depressed and needy, because it was during those times that I learned, how much God truly loves me. It was during those precious moments that I truly felt happiness and peacefulness. Outside of God, my "fun" and "happiness" only last for one second.

At the moment, the questions that kept on popping up in my mind is "Am I really satisfied in God if with His creation I am always pessimistic?" - the answer that i keep on getting is "I don't think so!" hahaha

So ATM I'm trying to find a balance. I pray that my balance won't be as what i think as balanced but as what He know as balanced. because you know what?! I'm so tired and sick of thinking that i know everything, whereas in reality i know NOTHING!

Hum.. such a dark post for my first daily interest(ing) experience... hoho