masochism
The daily reading that i read everyday, comes from vomgroups.com it's a website focusing about persecuted Christians around the world. My devotions is called EXTREME DEVOTIONS, they called it that, because it does sound extreme to those who doesn't believe in Christ, actually not just them, even many Christians too will find the devotions a LOT extreme. The tells murder stories, persecutions, and sometimes very horrifying executions that are done to Christians around the world, today and in the past.
Every time i read my daily devotions, i felt jealousy. Jealousy because those people can truly2 felt what faith in God truly means and see what faith can do with their own eyes. Most of all, i felt jealous because they can exercise their faith, they can truly be a light to a world that is pitch black.
YEah, i know, that this is a lame excuse, and it's wrong to have this kinds of thinking. I should be grateful because i was given an easy life, a life where everything is so easy to have, where being a Christian is not as hard. I should be grateful in whichever condition, place that i am put in.
But it doesn't stop me from wanting to join them one day. To join them in their battles. To help them, be a support for them, to join the fight of faith with them.
But i guess, it's my view of persecutions that is wrong! hahahha, because i know in here we too are persecuted, we face an even more complicated form of persecution. Where we are mocked, being made fun of, and ignored because of our faith. It's more of a battle with the mind. Where our mind is telling us to be lazy, and take things for granted. It's a battle with ourselves where we have to sometimes encourage ourselves to be faithful when we can see nothing happening. To still be burning with passion for Christ, eventhough it may seem that passion is no longer needed.
It's an even harder form of persecution. Maybe, wanting to be persecuted physically for me is a reason for me to run away from this internal persecution that i am going through....
Aahhh... i'm such a masochist!!
Every time i read my daily devotions, i felt jealousy. Jealousy because those people can truly2 felt what faith in God truly means and see what faith can do with their own eyes. Most of all, i felt jealous because they can exercise their faith, they can truly be a light to a world that is pitch black.
YEah, i know, that this is a lame excuse, and it's wrong to have this kinds of thinking. I should be grateful because i was given an easy life, a life where everything is so easy to have, where being a Christian is not as hard. I should be grateful in whichever condition, place that i am put in.
But it doesn't stop me from wanting to join them one day. To join them in their battles. To help them, be a support for them, to join the fight of faith with them.
But i guess, it's my view of persecutions that is wrong! hahahha, because i know in here we too are persecuted, we face an even more complicated form of persecution. Where we are mocked, being made fun of, and ignored because of our faith. It's more of a battle with the mind. Where our mind is telling us to be lazy, and take things for granted. It's a battle with ourselves where we have to sometimes encourage ourselves to be faithful when we can see nothing happening. To still be burning with passion for Christ, eventhough it may seem that passion is no longer needed.
It's an even harder form of persecution. Maybe, wanting to be persecuted physically for me is a reason for me to run away from this internal persecution that i am going through....
Aahhh... i'm such a masochist!!
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