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I would die for you by mercy me


And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I'm here
You never know why You're alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?

No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free
I truly want to share this song to everyone, because it had helped me during my down times.

Lately, I was truly stressed about my future. It started from when i enrolled into PTC. Why was i stressed? because i just found out that i cannot work while i am studying. The college forbids me to do any work during school time, or i will not get any concession card.

I know that this is such a simple matter to be stressed about. I was truly worried because i have been living with concession card all this time, and i have been taking advantage of it i'm afraid. I didn't or couldn't realise how hard it will be for me not to have my concession card. I have to pay double. And with the sort of money that i get, i don't think i would be able to live a normal and healthy life. extra 20 dollars for a weekly bus/train ticket is a lot!

And it's not just that. Hearing that i wasn't allowed to work, made me scared as well. I started questioning myself, How am i supposed to live!? I can't possibly ask people for help. I remembered one time when the church interviewed me, one of the question they asked was "how are you going to live if we don't help you financially?" and i answered that i am going to work and try to earn the money that i need while studying. and now that i know that i am NOT allowed to work, all my wonderful plans are completely shattered!!

But during that time, when i was truly2 depressed and down and stressed and frustrated, i heard this song from the cd that i just brought the day before.

It's amazing to see the wonderful ways God speaks to you and encourages you while you are down. I am still amazed now, how His words are so wonderful and sweet.

This song, reminded me again, who i live for, what is most worth it in this life! To me, it's to live for God, to die for God. For the God that had saved me. The moment He saved me, i had already died. Just like what Paul said in Philippians 1:21 "To live is Christ, to die is gain"

Yes, my life now has it's own wondeful purpose. I know in this next 3 years, my life won't be as good as it is now, there will be times where i have to suffer not just emotionally, but also physically and financially. But i accept it, if it's to teach me to have faith on God more, i accept it full heartedly, if it's to help me to know Him more, i wold gladly accept.

Maybe, right now it's easy for me to accept my fate, but i know there will be times that i will fail, but please pray that i will still be faithful to His promise, and only to look to Him for hope. I want to stay strong and not give up. And i make this as a promise to myself NOT to bludge, be lazy and to keep on trying and do my best to learn what His will is.

Right now, i need to make a budget for myself, and stick to it hehehehehe. It's ok, i think i will manage somehow, and please pray that i will stay strong and faithful to His promise always.

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