DANGER ZONE!!
I think, right now, i feel like i;m stepping into danger zone. I didn't even realize that i've been in too deep into it. Bet im puzzling everyone now... lemme just explain what i meant...
Lately, i felt really confident about myself actually. I am aware that my mind kept on telling me that it's oke to be confident, or at least to know your good qualities, and that it's good to know your good side rather just the bad ones. but deep inside, i know (though i dont want to accept it) that it's just an excuse for me to be confident- the wrong motivation of being confident.
Many people, even the bible study that i'm doing now, tells me to be confident. to achieve a great goal in order to make "God" proud. Even a lot of passages had been written that we have to do out best in all we do, and what other thing is better to judge our "best" than the marks that we got, the position that we have or the "talents" that people can see.
No wonder i've been feeling like crap in the past three days. The mind or "logic" that tells me to be confident because i;m good is the same logic that tells me that i'm not good enough, the same logic that tells me that everyone will always be better than me, the same logic that keeps on telling me to reach that invisible goal that i can never reach. N you know what! This logic of trying to gain confidence through works, has NEVER been able to succeed for me, ever since i was young, i know that i loose more confidence when i try to gain it by earning it with my "good" works.
This brings me back to the danger zone that i was talking about. going to school to learn about the Bible, doing things that the Bible "taught" us to to do, giving that "extra" mile for God made me really2 proud of myself. My mind is starting to think "yesh i'm in the right track, i'm finally doing things fight". though "harmless" as it may seem.. its actually polluting the way i think and feel. because of that two simple thought, i began to think of other thought.. even to the point of i'm starting to cling to my works as the source of my confidence in God. Pathetic aren't i...
which brings me to this passage:
Please pray that i would not be proud. Please pray that i would be grateful to even know my bad qualities. Please pray that i would be confident in God only. Please pray that i would always be humble and sensitive in everything that i do.
AMEN
Lately, i felt really confident about myself actually. I am aware that my mind kept on telling me that it's oke to be confident, or at least to know your good qualities, and that it's good to know your good side rather just the bad ones. but deep inside, i know (though i dont want to accept it) that it's just an excuse for me to be confident- the wrong motivation of being confident.
Many people, even the bible study that i'm doing now, tells me to be confident. to achieve a great goal in order to make "God" proud. Even a lot of passages had been written that we have to do out best in all we do, and what other thing is better to judge our "best" than the marks that we got, the position that we have or the "talents" that people can see.
No wonder i've been feeling like crap in the past three days. The mind or "logic" that tells me to be confident because i;m good is the same logic that tells me that i'm not good enough, the same logic that tells me that everyone will always be better than me, the same logic that keeps on telling me to reach that invisible goal that i can never reach. N you know what! This logic of trying to gain confidence through works, has NEVER been able to succeed for me, ever since i was young, i know that i loose more confidence when i try to gain it by earning it with my "good" works.
This brings me back to the danger zone that i was talking about. going to school to learn about the Bible, doing things that the Bible "taught" us to to do, giving that "extra" mile for God made me really2 proud of myself. My mind is starting to think "yesh i'm in the right track, i'm finally doing things fight". though "harmless" as it may seem.. its actually polluting the way i think and feel. because of that two simple thought, i began to think of other thought.. even to the point of i'm starting to cling to my works as the source of my confidence in God. Pathetic aren't i...
which brings me to this passage:
Romans 3: 9-20yesh
9What shall we conclude then? Are we any better[b]? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. 10As it is written:
"There is no one righteous, not even one;
11there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
12All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one."[c]
.... 19Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. 20Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.
Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.I pray that i will keep this passage close to my heart when i'm studying about His words. That having extensive knowledge about Him, doesn't make me anymore "holier" than those who don't or doing things that the Bible taught us to do, doesn't make me an even more likely candidate to go to heaven. Who am i to ever ask God for things that is His? who am I to ask God for the glory that is His and His only?
Please pray that i would not be proud. Please pray that i would be grateful to even know my bad qualities. Please pray that i would be confident in God only. Please pray that i would always be humble and sensitive in everything that i do.
AMEN
Comments