Godly femininity

Anyyone who knows me personally knows that i am not close to feminine at all.. 

Yes, they may say that lately i've been wearing "feminine" clothes, but clothes does not make a godly feminine woman. Even worse, "feminine" clothes had made me shift my focus on being godly to being a "feminine" woman - and that is not what i want to be!

So what is Godly femininity? I've just heard a sermon on femininity by mark driscoll and it was quite challenging for me. Here are a few points that i've found challenging and i would like to challenge myeself to change:

1. respecting man (even ones that are not so manly and respectable) - i have to admit - that respecting man (the way that real respect means) has rarely comes up in my mind. I usually give myself the excuse to do so in the name of "training" them. Training them for what? Well - hopefully by watching me they may be more manly... (i know that this is such a stupid way of thinking - but that's who i am...). 

There is one good reason why i need to respect men - that i strongly agree and want to challange myself to do, which is : by respecting man, i tell them that they are valuable and loved in God's eyes. I am doing the very commandment that God gave me to do which is to respect each other (man and women). Also, when i respect man, I am reminding them to behave in a respectful manner and to start being a respectful man! If a man never gain respect or the assurance that they are needed to be man, they would not find the need to change and be better. Man have a lot of needs to be respected and needed, and the best thing i can do to contribute is not by saying that it is wrong, but to start helping and encouraging them. 

So yeah... i need to respect man better. Plus being more "manly" than man doesn't change the fact that i am a woman- created to be a woman - and longs to find her true purpose in life, which is to be a godly woman fit for the kingdom.

2. to be a good helper not equalizer. I never struggled with the fact that i am created to submit to man. I've never argued the fact that i am weaker and less able (to make money) than man. But somewhere deep within my heart - I've always thought that i am called to do the same things as men. 

I guess i've never get a clear distinction between men and women. I've always thought that if man was called to lift heavy stuff, so does woman. I've always thought that if man can do rough jobs, so does women. And my mom is a good example of that, she does housework stuff (like fixing the door n such) - she said it's faster than waiting for my dad to do them. and in a lot of ways that's true! Some men just don't take the initiatives to do rough stuff- they just sit around and wait (like a king waiting to be served). All the rough jobs were left for woman to do. 

But this is one thing that i know is not true. True, man are lazy (many times) and not sensitive enough to see that there are things to be done. BUT, we woman too are lazy enough to encourage them to do what they must do as men! 

Men who are childish -is like a CHILD! They don't know what they must do, that's why we must (i'm serious when i say this - and i struggle in doing it properly too) tell them SOFTLY AND GENTLY (not by being sarcastic or nagging or screaming to them). Honestly, I struggle with this. I get frustrated when i see men that are not doing what they must do, and my solution is to be harsh and try to insult them by doing the things that are actually their responsibility to do. 

Yeah, i need to change my tomboyish nature. Actually, it is quite rare that i feel like a female. I've always thought of humans as human. Not two separate things like man and woman. Maybe that's why i don't really struggle with submitting to a man - because i've never really thought about it. But somehow and somwhere down the track, i need to make that distinction. I need to let men do their job and start doing my job properly too...

3. i need to realise that women is not just a matter of make-up and dress-up. This is the last because its the least important (mostly because i don't really do them anyway). Lately, due to the many "advice" given to me (personally or impersonally) I've tried on looking after my looks a bit more. And i know a change in me. The many times look at the mirror and try to look after my skin, my hair and what clothes that i'm wearing - and truthfully, its getting a bit out of control. I am just saying this publically, because it is the only thing that would keep me accountable. I need to stop and try to find a good middle ground between being tomboy and feminine. I pray that it is not within what i look like but more on my attitude...

theere... my struggles regarding genders... hopefully that's useful...