It HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDD!!!

Ahahha... i always remember that Mad TV geisha parody heiehiehei

watch it here

I guess... living in this world is hard.. hoehoehe

The reason why i said so... is that yesterday... we had just have a meeting about the music ministry in our church... and i guess... im not angry or insulted by it.. some of the comments that they brought upon is something that i know quite well that i am doing it wrong ehehheeh ....

There were many comments about how bad the mcs is doing... and basically just another reminder of (to put it bluntly) unprofessional we are.... the thing that makes it hard for me the most is that... some of the things that we discuss... and that was said was wrong was... something that i did try to do in the past... but i stopped because seems to me that it wasn't working...

One thing for sure is that things happens gradually NOT just on the spot... just because i'm not doing it now... doesnt mean that i never did it...

The one comment/feedback that frustrates me the most is when someone said... that mcs are often neglecting the musician and seperated themselves so singer play with singer and musician with musician... and it wasn't a teamwork anymore....

the reason why it frustrates me is that:
1. i know that it was wrong for me to do so... and i still did it... because it reminds me of the past where i tried to help the musician but ended up being a nuisance instead...

2. when i am serving, i don't want to be a stumbling block... if when i'm there trying to be a help but ended up being a nuisance... then that means i should avoid being nuisance... and the only solution that i could think of is... to separate myself so that i may not disturb their practice

3. sometimes its really hard... especially when the singers are early and we are ready... then the musician are late... not ready... have to do this do that... and we ended up practicing late... and i have to wait and make the singer wait again for the musician to practice the songs together... etc2... its REALLY FRUSTRATING!!!

4. true, this is a group thing, but when we are a group... people wanted to be treated as a group... but they dont want to commit to the rules for being in the group... and complains when things don't go to what they planned... what should i as a leader do?

5. i am a really2 weak and not a very self confident person... i admit that... i am scared of people who are more dominant than me (i mean in a leadership way...) and i admit... if someone in the group are more (leadership wise) better than me... i tend to stand back and let them lead... because i think that it's more beneficial for the group...

.... enough of me pitying myself... now it comes to the hardest bit for me to write... which is my lesson...

1. i am a leader (a song leader in this case) ... i have to learn to be PROFESSIONAL and a LEADER! .... if u ask.. what kind of leader? ... i will honestly say... i dont know...

this leader thing is new ... very new for me... and i am willing to learn... no matter how many heartache i have to feel... and how many times i have to ask God to take away my pride... i dont care! i pray always that in the process of learning this... i would be truly humble (as humble as God wants me to be)

2. even the mature can be unsensitive and rebuking without finding out the reason

3. another significant thing that i learned is that... i have to be PATIENT at all time... patient even though i am rejected... patient event hough i am hurt by others... patient even though no one at the time appreciates what i do... patient in any painful situation basically.. and to keep on being HUMBLE in accepting any comments...

and patient when dealing with those that (i think) don't know the meaning of being patient and humble...

i pray so that i will be soooooooooooo patient and humble, that i never will find the need to judge/comments others anymore...

and i pray that God will rebuke anyone that needs rebuking... without asking me to rebuke them... because if i put the concept of having to rebuke others all the time... in my mind... i'm sure i will be one of those people that Jesus said... always see the small dirt on someone else's eyes but don't see the big LOG in his own...

and i pray that sin will not get a better hold of me...and for God to take away my pride... because so far... my pride is the one that hurts me the most

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