Guilt!
Well,
I haven't written anything on this blog for YEARS! (literally) and I didn't realize that anyone would still read it even now (according to google - it's still quite active..) fewhh...
Anyway, a few updates if you're interested about what happened to me after a few years since I've written the last post..
God has been super kind to me, I've managed to finish a degree in ministry, and without asking too desperately for it, He gave me the best "job" in ministry that I could ever asked for!
I'm now working in a Presbyterian Church as youth and kids minister.
I'm super grateful for all His generosity in my life - that I've seen even until this very minute - by giving me the air that I breathe.
Anyway.. long story short - today's story is not about this... it's about guilt
Yes - everyone knows, Easter is coming soon and we'll hear the message again: Jesus died because we can't save ourselves. Left to our resources - we're better off not trying at all! There is just no way that we can save ourselves from our sins PERIOD!
But... a funny thing happened today... AGM a.k.a. Annual General Meeting. It's the meeting where Presbyterians chat about money matters.. And this year, just like last year, someone mentioned why my salary is higher than the assistant minister.
You know... well, maybe you don't.. I didn't ask of my salary. Actually, it was the members of the higher ups who set the standards that mine should be a particular number. And whenever someone mentioned to me about the fact that my salary is higher than the assistant minister - I'm left with a 1 tonne worth of guilt.
I can vouch that I'm definitely not better at doing my job than the assistant minister, nor am I more likeable, nor am I smarter, nor am I doing more things that the assistant minister. What makes it worse is that I'm still single (engaged but still single) and the assistant minister has got a wife and a baby to feed.
To add to that - a couple came to me at the end of the meeting - just to say - "I think you should consider giving your money to the assistant minister, because he's got more needs than you". BOOM! that's the sound of my brain and my heart exploding in guilt!
I chatted a bit with my fiancé about this and he gave me a very wise answer - "if you're guilted into giving, God won't be pleased by your generosity!"
I want to end there. That's what I needed to hear and I hope that's what you will hear also in the future. The fact that God is not pleased by whatever ministry you do to Him out of guilt. He wants your full devoted service out of a grateful heart - not out of guilt because you lack assurance of hope.
Jesus died to prove to us that we are now free from the shackles that prevents us to do good. To do things that please Him.
In Jesus, we now have new life! A transformed life! Life of hope, freedom, assurance and peace. We do good not because we are guilted into it - but because we know what a privilege it is to give, to love, to be kind to others because that's how God had been to us.
So dear self and friends... let us not give, let us not serve, let us not love out of guilt. Do that out of the gratefulness and fullness in your heart! Allow me to end with God's word
"6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9 As it is written:
"They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;
their righteousness endures forever"
2 Corinthians 8:6-9
I haven't written anything on this blog for YEARS! (literally) and I didn't realize that anyone would still read it even now (according to google - it's still quite active..) fewhh...
Anyway, a few updates if you're interested about what happened to me after a few years since I've written the last post..
God has been super kind to me, I've managed to finish a degree in ministry, and without asking too desperately for it, He gave me the best "job" in ministry that I could ever asked for!
I'm now working in a Presbyterian Church as youth and kids minister.
I'm super grateful for all His generosity in my life - that I've seen even until this very minute - by giving me the air that I breathe.
Anyway.. long story short - today's story is not about this... it's about guilt
Yes - everyone knows, Easter is coming soon and we'll hear the message again: Jesus died because we can't save ourselves. Left to our resources - we're better off not trying at all! There is just no way that we can save ourselves from our sins PERIOD!
But... a funny thing happened today... AGM a.k.a. Annual General Meeting. It's the meeting where Presbyterians chat about money matters.. And this year, just like last year, someone mentioned why my salary is higher than the assistant minister.
You know... well, maybe you don't.. I didn't ask of my salary. Actually, it was the members of the higher ups who set the standards that mine should be a particular number. And whenever someone mentioned to me about the fact that my salary is higher than the assistant minister - I'm left with a 1 tonne worth of guilt.
I can vouch that I'm definitely not better at doing my job than the assistant minister, nor am I more likeable, nor am I smarter, nor am I doing more things that the assistant minister. What makes it worse is that I'm still single (engaged but still single) and the assistant minister has got a wife and a baby to feed.
To add to that - a couple came to me at the end of the meeting - just to say - "I think you should consider giving your money to the assistant minister, because he's got more needs than you". BOOM! that's the sound of my brain and my heart exploding in guilt!
I chatted a bit with my fiancé about this and he gave me a very wise answer - "if you're guilted into giving, God won't be pleased by your generosity!"
I want to end there. That's what I needed to hear and I hope that's what you will hear also in the future. The fact that God is not pleased by whatever ministry you do to Him out of guilt. He wants your full devoted service out of a grateful heart - not out of guilt because you lack assurance of hope.
Jesus died to prove to us that we are now free from the shackles that prevents us to do good. To do things that please Him.
In Jesus, we now have new life! A transformed life! Life of hope, freedom, assurance and peace. We do good not because we are guilted into it - but because we know what a privilege it is to give, to love, to be kind to others because that's how God had been to us.
So dear self and friends... let us not give, let us not serve, let us not love out of guilt. Do that out of the gratefulness and fullness in your heart! Allow me to end with God's word
"6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9 As it is written:
"They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;
their righteousness endures forever"
2 Corinthians 8:6-9
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