IS amazingly selfish...

Wwew... lately - God revealed to me something that i've rarely noticed before.. that is - how many times in what i do, say and think - i am tempted to be selfish and foreceful to others... 

How do i know this?

1. i get angry/fustrated when people misunderstood me

2. i get angry/fustrated when people is unwilling to do the things that i think is right

3. i get depressed when people says that my answer is not exactly right

4. i fight and argue so hard with my friends about the things that i believe in and i refused to listen to the reason for believing otherwise

5. in many ways - i want and not want people to be like me - to think like me - do things the way i do BUT at the same time, i hate those who thinks like me and do things like i do... weird eh...

Many times i know that i am being selfish and prideful for what i have , but i refused to back down and repent. Even though i know these things are not pleasing to God - I still ends up doing it anyway... and regretting it afterwards.. 

Why can i just NOT do these things that are wrong?! so that i don't have to regret it afterwards?!

These questions keep on popping up in my head - of how stupid i am to fall into the same mistakes over and over again, never seem to learn anything from the pain and hurt that i received before..

BUT one answer that God always gives me everytime these cycle happens is - "God is strong when i am weak"

It seems to me that the only way that God keeps me accountable to myself is by allowing certain failures in what i do. I am not at all saying that God permits sin. But God permits us to see our inability and our weaknesses and our foolishness that we may never stop relying on Him. That His name might be glorified. 

And by this i am not at all saying that we should stop trying to strive to be more and more like Christ - NO! BUT I am saying that in whatever it is that we are doing - failures or successes - may it be ever for the Glory of the Lord and never for our own glory. May we acknowledge Him who is sovereign and in control over His creation. 

May we ever glorify Him whose great. Who is Holy and separate from all creation.