unexpectedly...

sangatlah mengherankan pekerjaan Tuhan itu... i just contemplated this while i was walking home... how weird my life had been... if you ask me.. 5 years ago.. i would NEVER thought of going to graphic design... actually 5 years ago.. i dont know what i was going to do...

and the other weirdest thing is that i actually go accepted into enmore graphic design course... which is really2 good in terms of education... and me... i dont even know what's so good about my design.. but i actually got accepted...

everything that happens in my life... is so weird... i always got something better than i ever expected... but right now... i dont feel like i deserve some of these things... because i ... if i think about it... i dont have anything... im not smart, creative or possess anything that is desireable in this world such as money, or good characteristics...

if i see myself... again and again... i truly2 feel like i got more , MUCH MORE than i could ever think of bargaining for... and i always ends up wasting some of the things that i got...

i dont know what i should be feeling.. but i know that i feel regret for wasting what waas given to me... but then... if i think about it again, i DONT have enough strength to NOT waste what was given to me... because i don't really need many of them... it's .... weird

i dont know this is just some of my random thought hehehe... maybe its becos im having a PMS or something heiehie

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