boasting?
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me"As I reviewed my prayer and my prayer list - one single theme struck me. I guess i've known this but i've never been able to fully admit it. And that is: i've always asked God to give me something that I could boast about beside Himself. That would "boost" my self-confidence. May it be intelligence/a seemingly-loving personality so that others would like me more/loads of friends/people who would accept me as I am, etc.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But as I look back and think about this matter more deeply, i began to see the deadliness of this exercise.
During my holiday with her, my mom told me a story of a famous "Christian celeb preacher" named Suzette Hattingh. She was really famous on her ministry on prayer. She does courses on how to pray for healing etc2. Until one day, she herself fell sick. During her sickness, she prayed, just as she used to and seen works - but God ceased to listen to her plea to heal her own body. Imagine that - God healed all the other people that she prayed for - but for her, God "refused" to answer.
I don't know the full story- whether she stopped preaching for a while or still continues even with the sickness, but nevertheless, at the moment she does travel around the world to preach. And this is some of the wonderful lesson about prayer that she learned during her sickness, she said: too often we ask God for things, for money, for success, for life partners, for healing,etc. but we forget one thing - to ask for God Himself - the maker and giver of all things. We treat God as Santa claus - doing our bidding for us because we've been good. When He does not answer, we nag, we moan, we groan and we complain. Isn't it funny that we are too often blinded by the lesser thing that we forget that it is He that we're supposed to desire. His presence, His everlasting goodness, His guidance - the Person not the thing.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me"2 Corinthians 12:9
I don't know the full story- whether she stopped preaching for a while or still continues even with the sickness, but nevertheless, at the moment she does travel around the world to preach. And this is some of the wonderful lesson about prayer that she learned during her sickness, she said: too often we ask God for things, for money, for success, for life partners, for healing,etc. but we forget one thing - to ask for God Himself - the maker and giver of all things. We treat God as Santa claus - doing our bidding for us because we've been good. When He does not answer, we nag, we moan, we groan and we complain. Isn't it funny that we are too often blinded by the lesser thing that we forget that it is He that we're supposed to desire. His presence, His everlasting goodness, His guidance - the Person not the thing.
Imagine if you have a child - and all that child does is ask you for things, but rarely show any interest in you or let alone interested to have any relationship with you other than the constant asking-taking relationship. How would you feel as a parent?
The same with how we treat God when we pray.
The same as how I treated God when I prayed for something to boast about other than Him. It's like a rich kid who constantly wait for his/her father's death so that he/she can possess all his richness- are those who ask God for His blessing and not for Him.
Do you think God will allow that to happen? That at the end of the day His evil creation to take away the things that are His?
One line that constantly rings in my ears is this line that Paul Washer always says in his sermon (i think he was quoting someone - but i forgot who), he said: "you know, at the end of the Days - God will say to all creation: "MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE""
The kingdom of God is like that isn't it? It's a kingdom where God rules - meaning, not only that everything is subjected under Him- but all acknowledges that they are His. And different from human kings who enforced their rule and authority and ownership upon his subjects - God did create everything! He did made everything for Himself.
So - what lesson did I learn from all of this?
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me"2 Corinthians 12:9
When I am faced with doubts, fears, depression, lack of assurance, and all those other negative things that constantly bang in my head - I will tell myself this: "His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore I will boast in my weakness so that His power might be seen more clearly"
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