dilema....
Lately... i've been thinking... of the numerous amount of feedback i've got from my fellow brothers and sisters... of my shaky personality... I know this very well that i do have a weird personality that looks very shaky... but i'm trying to improve on it... i've been trying to acting like Dalai Lama and Mahatma Ghandi and Mother Teresa which often looks like they have no personality because i rarely see them talking at all (since all of my memory of them is from comic books or the newspaper)... anyway i've been thinking of changing my personality (if ever that is possible) to make it looks like it's more "solid"...
But then i think again... when Paul mentions about not depending on the flesh... what does that mean? Does it mean that if i change my personality in accordance to my friend's wish so that it looks more solid and mature? or does it mean that i have little control of what my flesh is doing? will changing personality according to other people's "feedback" actually help with my work in the gospel? And does having a shaky personality as i have now means that i am damaging the Lord's work because of it?
Every time someone give me feedbacks about my personality and how weird and shaky it is, i question myself whether my personality is actually damaging the gospel and love that i've been trying to share all this time? If it is.. then i would destroy it and not do it anymore... but then who then shall i become to? i still don't get the role of my personality especially in my ministry yet... for that so far i can only see it useful when i am handling kids and disable kids... but is that wrong? because i can't then reach out to everyone... and reaching out to any age is something that i long to do...
this is my dilema...what does God want me to do with this personality that He had given me... and what does God plan on doing by giving me such feedbacks... I still don't know which questions should come first..
But then i think again... when Paul mentions about not depending on the flesh... what does that mean? Does it mean that if i change my personality in accordance to my friend's wish so that it looks more solid and mature? or does it mean that i have little control of what my flesh is doing? will changing personality according to other people's "feedback" actually help with my work in the gospel? And does having a shaky personality as i have now means that i am damaging the Lord's work because of it?
Every time someone give me feedbacks about my personality and how weird and shaky it is, i question myself whether my personality is actually damaging the gospel and love that i've been trying to share all this time? If it is.. then i would destroy it and not do it anymore... but then who then shall i become to? i still don't get the role of my personality especially in my ministry yet... for that so far i can only see it useful when i am handling kids and disable kids... but is that wrong? because i can't then reach out to everyone... and reaching out to any age is something that i long to do...
this is my dilema...what does God want me to do with this personality that He had given me... and what does God plan on doing by giving me such feedbacks... I still don't know which questions should come first..
Comments
i really do appreciate your honesty!
people say too much sometimes! apply filters and be faithful to God. please God, he's your master, not people. though i have no doubt that God can use any feedbacks you receive to mould you. but i've also found that (from personal experiences) a few times, i was taken a back than moving forward.
(read: perhaps a few have to hold back their tounges, good intention but not so appropriately administered, pray that it won't be pride that plays in me).
personality-wise, people are different, be yourself, but there are always room for improvement! don't be too hard on yourself just because people don't see things eye to eye with you. God looks at the heart!
(and don't be surprised that in the future, there'll still be a few not so nice experiences ahead. remember we are all saints but sinners at the same time).
pray that you'll be discerning and reflective.
what do others think?
People are different hin ... Most of the time, it is good to stop comparing ourselves with others and start listening more to what God wants ... And in the bible God DEFINITELY uses different people with different personalities ... Kayak Simon Petrus, Yakub, etc
Personality is not everything, but surrendering ourselves (talent, personality, hope, future) to God is everything !!!